Hey friend!!!!!
Man oh man. It's been a whole year since I started my journey and left my old church for the new church God led me to.
I remember it so clearly. It was Mother's Day 2018. My Jersey milk cow had just had her calf and I had started getting up at 5 am to go milking. Yeah, that's five o-clock in the morning.
And things were going really good. We were enjoying fresh Jersey cream and milk. Butter that you dream about. God had started calling me to a new church where love was exploding and it was soaking into my soul every Sunday.
But God was about to take me through the hardest season of my life so far. And it was going to require some extra God-flowing-ness into my life.
One morning, I woke up and looked over at my phone and it was 4:30 am. I had woken up early. I was about to go back to bed when I heard His voice.
"Come spend some time with me."
It was my loving heavenly Father, clear as day, asking me to get up even earlier than my alarm and be alone with just him and me.
I'll be honest. . . . I hesitated.
The bed beckoned me to get that little bit of extra shut eye but somehow I found myself getting up and going to the living room with my Bible. I felt led to start reading in James and it was exactly what I needed for that exact day. It was one of those times when it seemed like God wrote that part of the Bible just to me for exactly that moment.
And it kept happening, day after day, God woke me up half an hour early and I would get up and spend time with him and in the word. Day by day, we went through James and into the next book, 1 Peter and so on. Every day, whatever I read was exactly the encouragement I needed for that exact day's events. During that time in my life, I went through some stuff that was life-transforming and really really hard. I wouldn't have made it without that encouragement from God.
I haven't kept up doing that, it was just something that God did with me for that season of my life but I can definitely tell you that if you want to hear God's voice more clearly and more often, spend some time alone with your Bible as often as you can. Close your eyes, relax, let your mind go blank as much as you can, and just see what happens.
Fast forward to Mother's Day 2019. My husband and I are totally loving our new church, I bought a new milk cow so now I have two. People call it CALPC. Cow Are Like Potato Chips. Just ask my husband, who went from 20 beef cows to 170 in two years. We are seriously addicted to cows. We should be like going to therapy or something.
My new dream milk cow had twin calves about a week ago, and at first I was sad that she didn't calve on Mother's Day but it turns out that first week of milking was actually a nightmare (read about it by clicking here) but God did a miracle for me with my new cow. So on Mother's Day part of my present was that, even though I had to struggle for a little while, God gave me the gift of my dream milk cow.
I went to church on Mother's Day weekend and God just made that totally special too.
He played the same worship song that I heard on my first ever visit to our church. A song that I fell in love with right away and it has come to symbolize my journey that God started in 2018. Reckless Love. That song talks about how God is like a shepherd that leaves the 99 sheep in search of the one lost one. My old church was roughly 100 people and I felt like he said that song was for me because I was the special one out of that group.
I felt like I had fallen back into some old habits over the winter months and that day I heard in the message and from the worship that God was going to refresh me. I can honestly say that he has.
Later that week, Brenton and I were talking before going to sleep and he was telling me about how much he loved our church. That he was so grateful for their faith, how on fire our church is and how much they love God.
This. Coming from the man who fought tooth and nail for me to stay with him at our old church less than a year ago.
GOD IS SO GOOD.
So here I am, loving and celebrating one year at my new church and hubby is just loving it like crazy and our kids love it too. But there's even more goodness.
When I stop and look back over the past year, I see the vast differences between my old life and my new one.
When we were in Oyen, I loved that church and I loved the people there that I called my friends. But you know what? Those friendships have pretty much died. I am more warmly welcomed at most of my other neighbors houses than the neighbor that we used to go to church with.
I still see my old friends on facebook. I helped one of them when she was running the hot lunches at our school and she asked if I could help. It was just her and me in the kitchen, so I asked her about how things are at the old church but she never once asked me how it was going at my new church. I'm pretty sure they don't want to know anything about my new church but to be fair maybe she just didn't think of asking. Or maybe she thought it might be awkward.
Other than that, nothing, nadda, zip.
Now I get it, friendships are two way streets, but I was the last one to reach out and I told them about what God was doing in my life and they have never reached out to me since. With the exception of the school lunches, I've not gotten a single phone call, text or message. I think we were just Sunday friends.
The two women whom I would have considered my closest friends don't contact me at all and they did not give me support when I left. I'm not holding it against them. I still consider them people that I'm friends with and I'm not holding any grudges but it's just becoming so clear to me that I wanted real best friends, like I have now.
I have two new girlfriends who go to my new church, but funny enough, I met them before I went to my new church and we just happen to go church together now. Our friendships are so great and so awesome that, even if any of us changed churches or stopped going or whatever, I couldn't imagine losing our friendship. One lady I met through our shared love of raw milk and the other I actually met at the old church and she moved to new church with me! They are my best friends that I love to pieces and I'm so blessed to have them in my life.
We have a Bible study that we do together and even though it's just the three of us, it's so perfect. We really connect on a deeper level, more than just being face-value friends - you know? If you don't have that, you should start looking for it. It's freaking awesome. Let me show you a difference I've noticed.
My new friends call me. Often. I'm not just calling them. This one time, I was talking with Brittany and her husband came home for lunch, so she said she'd call me back later.
Do you know what she did?
She called me back in about an hour.
I joked with her that I almost didn't know if I should answer my phone because I wasn't used to my best friend actually calling me back. They would always just say it but never do it.
I have so much in common with my new best friends too. Like farming, cows, and chickens, husbands who are so similar in personality it's scary, and hearts that are searching for joy and loving God with our whole lives.
I can't imagine losing my best friends. They are too awesome. Our friendships are so deep.
How has my life changed so much in one year?
I'll tell you the secret.
Are you ready for something that might change your life forever?
It's called the emotional scale and this is what changed my life.
Here's how to use it: if you are feeling lower, like from boredom and down the list. You are are not fulfilling your life or chasing your dreams. You don't have to do anything drastic, but just take notice of what is making you feel those negative emotions. Then try to start moving up the ladder.
When I went to my new church, I felt total and unconditional LOVE. When you find something that brings you that emotion - chase it, go after it and follow it. Even if you start with just feeling optimism and hopefulness, that's the right direction.
God often shows me things that are good for me and things that are bad for me with this scale. He uses this to direct me in my life. Hey, this thing in my life makes me feel discouraged and worried so what can I do about it? Those negative emotions are like flags for you to take notice of things that need to change and the positive emotions are solutions and things you should probably have more of in your life.
I love writing. It brings me joy, passion, enthusiasm and empowerment.
So guess what I'm doing more of? YEAH!
However, my disorganized office and house makes me feel overwhelmed and discouraged. So I'm working on changing that. I attacked my kitchen the other day and took the mountain of garbage off the deck to the dump. I feel so much better when I walk into my kitchen now and it brings me optimism.
It's so simple it's almost crazy. Does it feel good or not so good or bad?
Good? Do it.
Not so good? Bad? Change it. No excuses.
But what about if people in my life make me feel bad?
Ok, I get that. Nobody is perfect and people will hurt you. Let's divide people into two groups: people you can remove from your life and people you can't.
In the first group, it's pretty simple. You just decide how they make you feel and adjust your relationship accordingly. If they make you feel bad, spend less time with them. You choose who you spend your time with.
In the second group, this might be your spouse, a co-worker or a family member. Take a moment to remind yourself that no matter what, you are never 100 per cent powerless. If someone is treating you poorly, you can leave the situation, you can tell them to leave and you can start laying down rules for how you expect people to treat you. And remember to apologize if you mess up and treat someone else poorly.
These are pretty general guidelines and life can definitely get very complicated and it doesn't always seem this simple but just remember this one thing: You have control of your life. Even when it doesn't seem like it - you choose your life.
Maybe you can't change it overnight but you can change it.
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